Compassion for yourself and others have been linked to well-being and happiness. But did you know the fear of compassion has been clinically linked to depression and anxiety? What is a fear of compassion and why does this fear make people reject help from others?
A fear of compassion is when someone fails to show sympathetic emotions towards oneself or others for fear of feeling vulnerable. There are three types of fears: expressing compassion for others, receiving compassion, and expressing compassion for yourself. These are all rooted in the fear of intimacy, the fear of being vulnerable, and worrying about opening up emotions to others. This is because vulnerability can be seen as a sign of weakness. Those who have a fear of compassion worry that vulnerability may be taken advantage of by others. The fear of receiving compassion tends to isolate the person and therefore leads to depression and anxiety.
Psychologists Olivia A. Merritt and Christine L. Purdon did a study of those with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety disorder (SAD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in relation to self-compassion. The SAD, GAD, and OCD groups all showed more fear of receiving compassion than the control groups. They have difficulty in giving compassion to themselves as well since they don’t feel they deserve it – which makes them less inclined to get professional help and more prone to depression and anxiety.
What can you do about this? Here are some tips to practicing self-compassion at home:
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- Mindful practice. Meditation and relaxation breathing exercises are part of the self-compassion practice. These techniques will help self-soothe during times of stress, especially in relation to your emotions.
- Tracking self-critical thoughts. Get a journal and track any negative thoughts you have about yourself or others.
- Letter writing. Write a letter to yourself and try to give yourself compassion for your past. Learn how childhood experiences affect our ability to receive and give compassion.
- Visualization. Imagine giving compassion to others, or receiving it yourself. Learn to visualize so you can feel the emotion that comes with it and learn to deal with any uncomfortable feelings it may bring up.
Do you fear compassion? Do you have a hard time giving it to others for fear of showing weakness? Request a free consultation if you are struggling with debilitating depression or anxiety.
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